Any sexy date members men in Helen

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Enlarge cover. Error rating book. Helen Fisher, a professor of anthropology at Rutgers University, can determine your personality — and your characteristics within a relationship — almost instantly. She characterizes in her book, "Why Him? Why Her? An excerpt. How to find and keep lasting love I will never look at a wedding cake the same way again.

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What transformed me was a trip to Tokyo in May, This book was on the stands; and I had come to speak to journalists at the launch of a new Internet dating site, Match. The interviews were over. All that remained was a singles evening attended by some members of the new web site, hosted by Match. I could hear the young members as they filed into the grand hall below. Each had taken a short version of my personality test and donned a wrist band to deate their primary type: energetic sunny yellow for Explorers; traditional royal blue for Builders; power-tie red for Directors; and tree-hugger green for Negotiators.

I had thought my asment was to introduce myself and my ideas to the guests to launch the evening. My job would be to analyze each cake for the members and the press and give one cake a prize. I know precisely nothing about wedding cake decorations — what could I possible say of any value?

I sat there berating myself for landing in this preposterous situation. Too soon, the moment for ing the proceedings came. I descended into the hall. The TV cameras whirred; the crowd parted; and I made my way to the center of the ballroom to give my short speech, via my trusty interpreter, Setsu.

Then individuals of each personality type assembled around one of four big round tables. To loud cheering, the cakes were wheeled in. Each was a flat single-layer cake about 2 feet by 2 feet square, laden with smooth, white icing — a perfect canvas.

The noise intensified as each group began their task: decorating their cake. Then my awakening began. I was ushered to the first cake, decorated by the Negotiators. The crowd drew aside and I got my first glance. It almost took my breath away: the cake was smiling at me!

The eyes were two huge strawberries; the nose a clump of raspberries; blueberries marked the grinning lips; cherries accented the cheeks. I was astonished. These Negotiators had Any sexy date members men in Helen their cake just the way they doodle. Was this a fluke? But once again I was astonished. There it sat, a perfectly symmetrical wedding cake. Most wonderful were the sides: Along them ran one slice of kiwi, one cherry, one slice of kiwi, one cherry, and so on — arranged in precise military order. As you know, Builders like things to be exact; they are thorough, meticulous, orderly, traditional and respectful of the rules.

So was this cake. Again I could barely believe my eyes. Before me was a minimalist cake. But these men and women had also been inventive. Not only had they decorated the cake; they had decorated around the cake, carefully ornamenting the edges of the silver tray. Directors had elegantly shown their tendency to think outside the box. And as the crowd parted I experienced one of the great moments of my career in science: three young men, laughing hysterically, were hurling fruit at their cake. And when they saw me coming, one reached across the table to a vase of flowers, seized them dripping from their container, and plunged the whole bunch into the middle of the cake.

At this moment I came to see how deeply these four personality styles permeate our lives. Now when I see works of art or hear music, I wonder about the primary personality type of the composer. I muse about the dominant types of those who built our buildings, and drew the layouts of our cities.

I see these personality types displayed in the characters in our movies, dramas, operas and novels. I have a clearer understanding of our politicians, business moguls and celebrities. Most important, I have a far more educated and nuanced view of my parents, siblings, colleagues, friends and men whom I have loved. But in this Afterword, I want to focus on the most important relationship Any sexy date members men in Helen your life: your connection with a beloved. Throughout this book, I have offered many comments on how each primary personality type thinks, courts and loves; described some of their tremendous assets and challenges on a date and in a relationship; and discussed how each might improve their partnerships.

Here, for all combinations of types, I offer a few final suggestions on how to find and keep lasting love.

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How to find lasting love 1 Know and like thyself. Each of us is a complex combination of all four of these basic styles of thinking and behaving. Find out what combination you are. Some people are quite evenly balanced. Others are far more expressive of some of these brain systems than others.

List your biological strengths and weaknesses. And be gentle with yourself; be happy with who you are.

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This is important. In fact, as you may recall, people naturally mimic the facial expressions of happy individuals and thus trigger the brain chemistry for energy, focus and optimism in themselves. If you are primarily an Explorer, seek those who are equally curious, creative, energetic and spontaneous.

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If you are largely a Builder, seek those who are just as traditional, loyal, conscientious and family oriented. If you are primarily a Director, seek a mate who is imaginative, compassionate and skilled at talking and listening. And if you are foremost a Negotiator, seek someone who is tough minded, decisive and ambitious. One example would be an Explorer who has led the high life for many years, then falls in love with a Builder because he or she wants to settle down.

You can learn a great deal about another person in the first three minutes of meeting him or her. In fact, it takes less than one second to know whether you find someone physically attractive. But pay attention to their body language. Nevertheless, also notice the words this person uses. As you know, each of the four personality types employs language slightly differently. Also look at their hands and face for s of testosterone, estrogen and dopamine activity. People are walking billboards of their genetic dispositions. So value your first impressions. The brain is built to size up others quickly — and often accurately.

He is handsome, but has an irritating laugh; she comes across as intelligent, yet arrogant. Give him or her as many chances as it takes to make up your mind. Remember: the more you interact with someone, the more you tend to regard them as good looking, interesting, smart and similar to yourself.

The better you like them, too. So unless you are almost instantly turned off, spend more time with him or her. This quagmire is particularly prevalent on Internet dating sites. The brain becomes saturated with options so we just keep looking — and thereby pass up opportunity after opportunity to fall in love.

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So after you have met ten people, get to know at least one of them before you your search. Any sexy date members men in Helen. Information Years: Top girls. Tate Long before the fictional Carrie Brhaw began dispensing advice to single young women, there was the real thing: Helen Gurley Brown. Lanette Courtney Vinopal Courtney Vinopal. Bliss Sex and the Single Girl is a non-fiction book by American writer Helen Gurley Brownwritten as an advice book that encouraged women to become financially independent and experience sexual relationships before or without marriage.

Any sexy date members men in Helen

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