Added: Delaina Hanley - Date: 03.09.2021 12:31 - Views: 15910 - Clicks: 2608
Reprinted with permission of the author and publisher. You may have been wondering why I have yet to mention love in the discussion of loneliness. The answer is the same to all these questions: Yes and no. Love absolutely brings people together.
It can be hard to tell where you end and they begin. We can love people after they die. Whom we love and for that matter, whenwherehowand why we love is largely outside our control. So the notion that love is a reliable solution to loneliness is a myth because, simply put: Love is a mystery. Love certainly reduces loneliness, given the right circumstances, but it also increases loneliness under unfavorable ones. Closeness, unlike love, always works toward reducing loneliness. Closeness is useful in a way that love is not.
If you do certain tangible things with a receptive partner, you will see tangible. The more effort you put into it, the more you will get out of it. We generally deem loving anyone at the office inappropriate.
But most of us spend a great deal of time at work, and there are likely lots of people we know professionally with whom we could build a meaningful relationship. Closeness gives working relationships the opportunity to matter as much as strictly personal ones. And if you are in love, closeness makes that love that much more stable and reliable.
I see evidence for this in the ample research on marriage and divorce: The overwhelming majority of people who get married, at least in Western developed countries, say that they do it for love. In our culture, marriage is seen as the ultimate expression of committed love, and most who commit to marriage expect that the love that brought them together will last a lifetime.
Only 25 percent of respondents said an affair played any part in the decline of their marriage. So what does this tell us? Marriage is all about love and divorce is all about distance. Even the relationships that are most filled with love will fall apart without closeness. That being said, love relationships—particularly marriages—are excellent opportunities to create closeness. This creates an environment of deliberateness —of conscious choosing—very conducive to creating closeness.
You can create so much fulfillment and connection with others without waiting for love. For more relationship tips, visit kiraasatryan.
Kira Asatryan The Art of Closeness. Posted February 19, Share. Loneliness Essential Re. About the Author. Online: LinkedInTwitter. Read Next. Back Psychology Today.
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Essential Re.Lonely lover needs his partner
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